These are falsehoods, said the pawnbroker.
I note, said Armand to the pawnbroker,
I never hear the parrot voice his words
In such a way they coincide with your's.
You two don't both speak at the same time.
Are you, sir, perhaps a ventriloquist?
I don't, as rule, defame myself, he said.
The bird converses, just as advertised.
But it only has one eye, said Armand.
Even a half price parrot should have two.
Ask the pawnbroker where it went, I said.
The treacherous bird, said the pawnbroker,
Mixes falsehood and the truth too well
To contest these tales. Beware you buy him.
The bird's two fifty. Take it or leave it.
Take it, I advised the hesitant Armand.
Can I begin to recount the benefits
That shall surely and eventually accrue?
Yes. Of course I can. Nothing's beyond me...
Never mind, said Armand, I will take it.
The price I bid will mate the price you ask.
Here's two fifty. Where's the traveling case?
And how do you turn the thing on and off?
I'm fully automatic, I repeated.
A wise choice, far better than a toaster,
Said the pawnbroker, clearly relieved
Finally to be rid of the electric parrot,
That unsaleable, plastic piece of junk.
End of Caput 1
Liber Jonae Contents